You smell like a Billy Joel song
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
