then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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