i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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