God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize