hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Randomize
