***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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