My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize