It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.