He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.