just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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