We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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