ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize