I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize