they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize