Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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