Is it normal to miss your booty call?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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