I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize