Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize