I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
