Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dear god my vagina.
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