do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
