I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We named our party play list daddy issues
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
