I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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