im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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