And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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