I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
