I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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