was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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