all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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