He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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