i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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