There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
