Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize