Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize