I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
