My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You don't make any sense
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