I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
