I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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