Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!