I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?