Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday