i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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