Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize