Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
it's like iHOP with fire
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
