Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
where are you?
Hypothermia
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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