I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
