What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize