I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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