I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize