she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
