cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"