You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.