I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?