I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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