If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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